If I… Were VP Ad Sales for XMRadio
I am the most loyal XM Radio user — so loyal that I still refuse to call it Sirius Radio. But I’m one ad shy of K-Oing my XM. If I were VP of ad sales for XM Radio, I’d make a few serious changes to keep loyal users in the game. Now, nevermind that the whole business model for XM went down the shitter — originally it was ad-free radio. In fact, that was the whole point of subscription radio. No more, as we all know. A shame since it seems it’s the only business model that works for them. I’m pretty certain their choice in advertisers isn’t supposed to drive their users away from their service, right?
If I were VP of Ad Sales for XMRadio, here’s what I’d do:
1. Local, local, local. Invest in cool technology that can use the geo-targeting in your unit to target local ads. Figure out what newcomer companies like CopiaMobile are doing to geo-target coupons to mobile phones and get on the bandwagon. I’m driving in Campbell and you tell me that I get a free chips with my meal at Aqui Cal-Mex during happy hour. I pull over and go! I call my friends to come! I don’t go in, but I remember that if I mention XMRadio, I get free chips. Your local brand confidence goes up, your brand association goes up, your value to the customer goes waaaay up.
2. Put a cap on ad rotation. I have heard the same four commercials on XMRadio virtually non-stop. It has gotten to the point where I hear the same ads on various XM channels at the same time. There has got to be a cap on ad rotation. The saturation level cannot possible be a value-ad for advertisers and even if positive, the over saturation of the same ad dilutes the value of the message. I’m sure we’d all agree that bombarding your audience isn’t the smartest thing in the world. In place of over-delivery of the same ads, use the opportunity to demo the beta of the local ad targeting.
3. Get smarter about what I want by using social media tools to instigate and maintain two-way communication with your users. Invite your Twitter users to a virtual listening party, create favorites and playlists to be shared. Show up and be a part of local big markets, just like radio stations do. Be present. Ask questions, be relevant to your market. The targeting for XM ads is abhorrent. While maintaining communication with your audience (and building trust while you’re at it), take your learnings and sell back to your advertisers. Be the authority on what your users want and need and then demand that from the advertisers that you are bringing to them.
If XM Radio were to target ads that were relevant to me, added value to my life, provided me with opportunities, showed that I, as a user, matter to you, then I’d have a lot easier time listening to ads on the XM Service. Without improvement in ad targeting and direct communications with what the users want, I fear that others like me will fall off the XM signal and move to a place where there is less noise.
Read More
Sale? Hardly.
In the past week, I’ve gotten sale emails from JCrew (20% Off Sweaters!), Old Navy (50% Off Outerwear), Kohl’s (50% Off Sweaters!) and Gap (30% Off Friends and Family). I tracked down every.single.one of these discounts. Here’s what I found:
1. JCrew: Two words: FUCK OFF. It doesn’t help one single bit to charge an average of $150 for a wool sweater. Are you kidding me? We’re not talking cashmere here. In looking through all of the sweaters on Jcrew.com, I found not one thing we’d buy. 
2. Old Navy: I went into the store, and sure enough, the coats are 50% off. On sale, they’re running between $50-$85. That’s pretty good. Unfortunately, there is no lining in the jackets at all, so La Gringa would look cute this week in New York, but freeze her ass off.
3. Kohl’s: See, now, this one is probably more me than the store. Kohl’s in fact, was advertising 50% off all sweaters. The problem is the fashion of the sweaters was from the FLDS catalog, made at the Zion Ranch by underage children! 
4. Gap: The sale intel came out two days ago with a serious viral campaign, but when I went to the store today, turns out the campaign is for Thursday only. Ugh.
Then there’s the true idiots. The biggest offenders right now? Travel & Leisure Magazine, Luxury Link.com, One & Only Resorts. Okay, so I know I’ve opted in for these folks, but are you kidding me? What economy are they tapping into? What planet are you on to market to me in such a stupid way?
1. Travel & Leisure: Boasting luxury getaways to India and Saudi Arabia this month, I poured over the mag trying to remember my travels in the days before a shithouse economy and life with children. But I couldn’t get past it — what was the editor thinking? What crack are you smoking? Where is my Hunkering Down Travel? Or Find Leisure on a Budget? Idiots. I actually threw the magazine away before finishing it.
2. Luxury Link: I’ve purchased from Luxury Link before. Sometimes you can even find a deal. But not now. They seem to have completely lost their perspective. Giving $50 off of a $15,000 week-long getaway is not a discount. Offering discounted upgrades? Only if you win a prepaid bid ranging from $2500 to $25,000 for a week. You better damn-well upgrade me at the cost, whacker.
3. One & Only: See now, you’re talking about the holding company of my favorite place on earth. About five years ago, they took over for the little La Palmilla, making it a massive celebrity destination and completely destroying the small, quiet hideaway it had been for 40 years. Those bastards are currently offering a “discount” of 20% off for holiday travel — that would make the cheapest room just over $750 per night. For the record, I paid $200 for the same room several years in a row. 
So here’s my advice to the luxury travel and retail providers;
1. Do one single thing at a discount. One. Sweaters. Jackets. Hotel room. Spa services. Whatever. Do one. And kill it. Bring the cost all the way down, waaaay down. Low enough to get us previously engaged users to reengage (those of you who know me will know I’m talking about the second or third quadrant of the P&G user).
2. Don’t call it a discount if you’re gonna be obscene. It’s so offensive. Say, “Escape the Economy” and forget about your life for a few days. Don’t tell me it’s a discount. Don’t tell me you understand. Change your verbiage to convince me that you are one of us. It’s incredibly insulting to send me a discount that isn’t one.
3. Work my loyalty (yes, the P&G third and fourth quadrants). Work me slowly, directly. Tell me you know me and my loyalty to your product, your resort. Work my preferences, mine your data. Get me to engage. And reengage.
It’s gonna be a long couple of years. I’m going to need more from my email marketers. You all get an F. Go back and come back with something more engaging. I have a credit card, La Gringa needs sweaters. Come get my business the old fashioned way: earn it.
Read More
Side Gigs
