The Crayola Sidewalk Paint Sprayer

Riiiight. Unless Crayola meant wash and wear, this paint is not at all washable, leaving stains on my sidewalk, bricks and children’s fingernails for days on-end (Yes, I washed the children and the bricks — although I gave the bricks a better scrubbing since they don’t yell at me.). Did the product mention the part about splattering out of the sprayer on all sides, leaving a massive green muck explosion on my walkway?
Rating: Colored Crap (CC)

Party Hair Color

Such a great day camp my kids attended that I’ll even forgive the “temporary” hair spray. So temporary, in fact, that it wouldn’t come out for six days. That’s six long days of strangers asking me if we were “at a carnival today?” I sent La Gringa scrubbing poor Thing 2′s scalp after photos from The Picture People came back a little, um, reddish on the noggin.

Rating: Colored Crap with bonus Chemicals. (CCC)

Elmer’s Squeeze ‘n’ Brush

And the winner for the dumbest Target purchase of the summer season: The Squeeze ‘n’ Brush which is more like Squeeze and Burst (All Over My Kitchen Walls). Washable? Okay, fine, on the table, yes, on the walls, sure with a little elbow grease and Clorox Cleanup, but on the kids and me? NFW. I can’t get that fricking paint out of my nail beds for all the manicures in Vietnam.

Rating: Exploding Colored Crap (ECC).

I’m sticking to Marks’a'Lot permanent markers. Even *that* washed off the kidlets easier — well, at least with a little baby oil and a brillo pad.